![]() Rick Heller, Secular Meditation: 32 Practices for Cultivating Inner Peace, Compassion, and Joy: "Ruminating about all the horrible people who have hurt or offended you is like locking yourself in a cell with those very same people, except that you’re the only one who suffers." Martha Beck, Oprah Magazine, February 2015: ![]() Until you make peace with your difficult memories, that pain will continue to bleed into your current and future experiences." It doesn't change what happened, but it removes that event's power to continue hurting you. "Letting go is like a mental, emotional, and spiritual delete button. Iyanla Vanzant, Oprah Magazine, March 2014: "Wishing our enemies well is not about wishing them to be happy by continuing with their bad behavior cultivating anger and hatred toward an enemy hurts us and does not address the root cause of the situation." Paul Gilbert and Choden, Mindful Compassion: The accused’s insistence that he is only an innocent bystander, if not the victim, is usually perceived by others as an insult to their intelligence, a maneuver that compounds the original wrongdoing.” “Most arguments escalate between spouses, other family members, friends, or co-workers because no one takes the blame and says, ‘It is my fault, and I am sorry.’ An apology could end even major wars among nations, never mind the ordinary arguments of individuals As you continue to practice your heart will naturally begin to let go of the past and open to the present moment." Forgiveness simply means that you are willing to let go of the pain and anger in your heart Trust that you are going at the right pace and in the right way for you. "Forgiving this hurt does not mean you condone it or agree with it. Shauna Shapiro and Chris White, Mindful Discipline: What we can do is work toward readiness of heart." Sometimes it means letting a relationship go. Sometimes forgiving makes it possible to pick up the pieces of a broken relationship and begin again. Sometimes it takes the form of working on our story until quietly, often surprisingly, we simply let go of hurt. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting we have to remember, or we will forget the lessons that experience teaches us. "Forgiving cannot be the silent shoving of things under the rugs of our hearts. Pat Schneider, How the Light Gets In: Writing as a Spiritual Practice: But without forgiveness the world can never be released from the sorrows of the past Forgiveness is a way to move on." We can dedicate ourselves to making sure they never happen again. "To forgive does not mean we condone the misdeeds of another. Jack Kornfield, The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology: No one can grant forgiveness except you, which makes it not only powerful but also empowering." Forgiveness is an extraordinary gift we give to ourselves and others. "Forgiveness does not mean we forget a violation or injustice and allow it to reappear in our lives. I like to provide a lot of options so you can choose what's most appropriate for your particular context. Teachers, I don't necessarily recommend giving this whole long list to your students. ![]() Here are perspectives on forgiving those who've wronged us, forgiving our own mistakes and imperfections, and feeling lovingkindness toward others without necessarily condoning their actions.
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